DUMITRU BORDEIANU V15/28 August 1921 – 3/16 August 2002
A Warrior of Christ
The following paragraphs are part of a longer interview with badia (elder) Dumitru Bordeianu, Melbourne, 1998.

The difference between the possessed from Dostoevsky’s novel (“The Possessed”) and the possessed from Pitesti and Gherla (two extermination camps from communist Romania) is this: the former lived in freedom, and the latter were deprived by their freedom and deprived by the most elementary conditions of living. Furthermore, the prisoners from these jails were also subjects to unbearable physical and spiritual ordeals.

Other characteristic regarding the genesis of my “Confessions from the Bog of Despair” is that I lived myself this possession at the highest level of despondency. If meekness is opposite to vanity, and if living in humility drives you to Heaven (“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven”), living in vanity leads to hell.

How did I start writing my ‘Confessions’? Very close to the place where I lived, after arriving in Australia, there is a rivulet, which had appeared in my dreams since I was living in Romania. Two things sprang into my heart: fasting and praying. My mind became enlightened. It was nothing from me; it is God’s mercy. I started to pray and to fast for a few weeks. In the same time I was visiting the place with that creek, every morning, and day by day my thoughts became clearer. Generally, when you write a book you have an idea of what and how it will look like to the end. But in this case I have not done a draft, starting to write with the title: “Confessions from the Bog of Despair”.

If there is no temptation (referring to the ordeal imposed to Romanians, along with all the other nations suffering for tens of years under Communism), there is no virtue as the Holy Fathers say. The Christian virtue is tested only in extraordinary circumstances. It was not just an incident that God allowed communism to emerge in Russia, instead of Germany or England. Nothing happens in the seen and unseen world without God’s knowledge, tolerance and will. We must not mix up (a given) Soviet / Russian state policy with Russian Orthodoxy where Russians live their lives only on Christian co-ordinates. In Russia there are millions of martyrs, victims of Bolshevism. For instance, as narrated by Father Dimitrie Bejan, there is a very special account of many thousands of Orthodox who have been killed in such significant circumstances. This Romanian father witnessed himself the uncovering of thousands of holy relics in a prison camp on the site of an old monastery named Oranki (not knowing such details at that time), and then, in the late 1940’s, he met a Russian monk, Teodot, the only survivor and witness to that massacre of 11,000 monks and priests, terrible event that happened at that Oranki monastery, not far away from the Volga river. In 1918, these monks had been given by the communist power, three days to choose between communism and our Lord Jesus Christ. They decided in ten minutes. After that decision, for one long month, these martyrs dug their own graves, while they were executed one by one, that is 300 to 500 every day. Their bishop had told these monks and priests: ‘Brothers, it is time to wear the wreath of martyrdom. Are you with Satan or with Christ?’ How strong was their faith! Not even one deserted! But God wanted that one alone to escape by running away, and later on to meet father Dimitrie Bejan to tell this extraordinary story. This is His Divine will!

Nations and people do not live and last through the cowards. God did not leave us alone, even during the Bolshevik domination. A person, who has not been connected in both heart and mind with the Lord, could not do much. The framework is God. Communism is just a prelude to Antichrist. There is a reason that God allowed communism to happen, that is for testing people and their Faith. The Lord loved and loves us so much but we can not realise this with our own reason and mind. God gave us a chance to be saved through these martyrs. In prisons, the majority did not lose their Faith. There were a number of prisoners not quite ‘religious’, although they were anti-communists: “Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven”.

I did not want to leave my country, ever. I had the opportunity to go away with the German army, when I was young. I had also the occasion to run from Romania, in May 1948. How did I get to Australia? – driven by destiny. I understand the destiny not as a fatality, predestination or fate. It is for sure that God, from His eternity, knows what is happening to us. But this is not predestination. Destiny is this: what happens between me, the creature, and God the Creator. I can not rebel, especially when I am conscientious of this matter. This is also just common sense. For the people who do not have the conscientiousness that they were created by God, it is a different problem. But for me, knowing that I was created by God, not by … nature, I have to admit this fact and to obey on my own accord to the Creator. It is on my own accord, because I have been given the freedom to choose. Satan always says that he does not want to serve Him. We must acknowledge our weaknesses and God’s power. When I am obeying to the Lord’s will, my weakness is taken by the Creator on His own shoulders. My own obligation is to say ‘yes’: “Behold the maidservant of the Lord! Let it be to me according to Thy word” (Luke, 1:38). That is the essence.

The struggle between God and the evil one has begun in Heaven, when Satan rebelled against God. A true believer is in a permanent ascendance to God, striving to God. The one who is confessing God and praying to the Lord will do God’s will and guard His commandments. Therefore he will be called to Heaven. The others, the non-believers and the Satan’s servants will go downwards to the lowest degree of wickedness, making room to the Antichrist – the absolute debasement. Then the Lord will conclude and the Judgement Day will come. In prison, the exterminators have stoped having any remorse for the wickedness shown. They were so possessed that nothing interested them any more, but to leave those ‘jobs’ and to be rewarded for the work done, with good ‘placements’ in the Central Committee of the Communist party or in Securitate (the secret service). They were carrying out the master’s orders; they did not think to stop killing. I remember Deac, the boxer, who used to give you the final blow, crushing your liver. This man and others like him, such as Leonida and Costachescu, were applying methods of punishment more and more ferocious. The stronger our resistance was, the tougher their methods became. Some of these butchers committed suicide after their release from prison. Love and mercy were not their main characteristics. It was just hatred – the last expressions of hate and vanity.

The most impressive thing, even from my first days in prison, was our cohesion. Personally, I have been attached to all my suffering brothers, not just to the members of the Legion of Archangel Michael, because we all opposed communism. Many who were imprisoned looked like angels. The one who impressed me the most, was Constantin Oprisan (V13/26 July 1959). We were in the same cell for one year. He was a man of an extraordinary complexity: he mastered various fields, from music and art, to mathematics and philosophy. His nature was very affectionate, living everything at the highest. Constantin was forced to the toughest punishments – no one else was so much subjected to such ordeals. He was beaten for every young one, heroically enduring long lasting tortures.

Another young man, who I could only see, was Valeriu Gafencu (V5/18 February 1952), the Saint of Prisons. At Targu-Ocna Prison, Valeriu was looking into the criminal’s eyes, transforming them into peaceful lambs. Even the director of the prison could not look directly into Valeriu’s eyes. His heart was so warm, that all the people who met him changed suddenly.

I met GheorgeJimboiu – one of Valeriu’s disciples. He also prayed with the Pray of the Heart, living only the Lord’s Commandments of loving one’s neighbour. His kindness and candour were extraordinary; he never said a word of hate or revenge: he was an angel wearing a human body. Once I witnessed a tooth extraction without anaesthetics, done to Jimboiu; it was a prolonged intervention too, but he did not sketch one sign of pain.

I was also deeply impressed by Badea Trifan, the prefect of Brasov City, already in prison for 22 years. He was very kind to all, having a peace of mind rarely encountered. During the Passion Week, he was continuously praying and weeping, until the Day of Resurrection. So, 2000 years after our Lord’s Resurrection, Badea Trifan wept like the Apostles. I met Prince Alexandru Ghica, knowing him well as we lived in the same cell. He also was a very good Christian, living Orthodoxy with intensity. I can enumerate Gioga Parizianu, who was confined in a drying stove at 70 degrees Celsius; I also met Mircea Nicolau, Berzea, Petrascu and many others who were to be ordained as priests, after their release from prison.

The essence of communism is this: to destroy the idea of God from man’s heart. For that, man could become a leaf in the wind and Satan can take it anywhere he wants. The terror at Pitesti was so frightening because it was done with us and through us. Usually, with your enemy you can fight as long as you have power to resist. But at this extermination camp from Pitesti, one of us – that is you, my brother – was coming to beat me. The Christian martyrs were facing their distinct enemy; the early martyrs were not tortured by Christians. In our case it was not just about giving up your Faith, it was also about your brother acting against you. It means: today we are having a chat and tomorrow you will be going to kill me, even that I could willingly sacrifice my life for yours! That was the biggest test for all… God allows Satan to tempt you, but the temptation could not be bigger than your limits of endurance, because our Lord knows one’s strength.

Being tortured, I could say that I am not anymore a member of the Legion of Archangel Michael (the Orthodox movement founded in 1927 by Corneliu Codreanu, V17/30 November, Martyr and Confessor of Christ), but I remain one. But regarding one’s Faith, in such extermination camps, it was not just that you had to say that you do not believe anymore in God. You had to prove this by mercilessly killing your friend. But how could you kill your own brother when he was crying in agonizing pain?!

I know the communist terror. We all felt the pressure of that terror, when freedom became abolished. In the prison, you had been completely chained and all privileges eradicated. Not just the destruction of Legion of the Archangel Michael was pursued, but the method in itself was a special experiment; a method which probably will be used again, sometimes in the future.

Satan is very intelligent and he whispers to those who serve him the same satanic intelligence. This Pitesti experiment is a perfect example. It was not about brainwashing but about demonic possession, which transforms people in real robots, like with modern man in the West. There in jail, the spirit of Satan was floating almost visibly. There were thousands of demons staying afloat in the air. One’s memory was inspired by a negative illumination and you could remember everything since you were a child. In a Christian land, those who utter impieties against God, knowing about God and His Church are called renegades. Turcanu (one of the chief perpetrators in this experiment) accepted all that he has done, being fully aware of what he did.
The temptation that I fell to and I shall carry always with me – at the Judgement Day, as well – is that I publicly said that I shall not pray anymore. From that moment on, I stopped praying, cutting off my tie with the Creator, but my Guardian Angel did not move away from me, even that I was mastered by the spirit of Satan, who manifested by filtering himself in that indescribable fear that I had. In prison, if someone talked about the devil or about epileptics, I became straightaway terrible frightened. I was not necessarily scared by the torturer, but I became terrified by the possibility of losing my minds due to torments. After two years, I started to pray again but I did not feel anything in my heart: it was like empty words – a mechanical pray. This fact in itself tortured me the most, for one more year. My agony lasted until I met Gheorghe Jimboiu – a man who was living in a state of sainthood: an angel with a human face, who helped me. I could not look into his eyes. My life became impossible until Pascha of 1954, when the Lord’s kindness and mercy interceded. During that night, reaching the limits of endurance and feeling the spiritual misery of living like in hell, I said: Lord, I can not resist anymore; do what Thou want with me! When the bells tolled, I kneeled and started to cry, begging for forgiveness from God. And from that very moment I started to be another man. Christ did a miracle with me. I felt organically that something like a force, the Satan’s power, came out from me. I cried unstoppable for one hour. I became entirely exhausted, but very happy. It was the beatitude of my rebirth to Faith. It was like defeating the whole hell. The following period spent in jail (the years between 1954 and 1963) was a cakewalk, in spite of all misfortunes that I endured, such as hunger, cold and isolation.

Saint John Jacob the Hozebite

SEMNUL SFINTEI CRUCI
THE SIGN OF THE HOLY CROSS


Semnul crucii este noua / Scutul cel mantuitor / Care departeaza raul / Si ne da la toate spor.

The sign of the Cross to us
The salvific shield it is,
Which makes the evil to depart
Gives us so much strength from His!

Deci sa facem cum se cade / Crestinescul nostru semn, / Caci vrajmasii fug atuncea / Ca de preacinstitul lemn.

So let’s make it as perfectly today
This Christian sign of ours stood,
Because the enemies will run away,
As from His Holy Precious Wood.

Iar acei ce bat in cobza / Si pe cruce o ingana, / Au samanta necredintei / Si pecete rea la mana!

And those who ‘play’ it like guitar
And the Cross they mock “unplanned”,
They have the seed of faith afar
With the evil seal on hand!

N-au evlavie in suflet, / Nici rusine la obraz / Plecaciune nu pot face / Ca-i "boierul pe grumaz"!

They have no piety up in the soul,
Neither shame shown on their cheeks.
Down bowing – they can not be in control,
‘Cause a “boss” on neck does tricks!

Domnul cerurile pleaca / Pentru neamul omenesc, / Iar la El sa-si plece capul- / Multi crestini nu se silesc.

The Lord of Heavens bows
His Being for the human race
But to Him the “Christian” shows,
That does not bow his head – disgrace!

El intinde sus pe cruce / Mainile dumnezeesti, / Tu macar a face "semnul" / Omule nu te silesti.

He has stretched high on the Cross
His Godly hands Divine,
And you, man, don’t strive but loss,
To make at least this Sign.

El ne mantuie crestine / Savarsindu-Se pe lemn, / Iara tu socoti rusine / Ca sa faci al crucii semn!

O, Christian you, He saves us,
By His death on the Wood,
But you see the shame and fuss
In crossing yourself good!

The last poem written by Saint John Jacob the Hozebite, at 15th of July 1960

THE WIND OF DESOLATION
(The heavenly wrath)

1
And again on battlefields, blood again,
Again the noise, of the wars
Once more unending, storm of tears.
The tide is high, the need – it soars!

2
When poor world wiped
On cheeks its tears,
Another sudden tide
Of sorrows, the world is pierced.

3
Again the widows will be crying
Along with old men – poor,
And children will be left alone,
In thousands orphans score.

4
Cities will be emptied
And so many will be slaves,
In that place of worldly songs
Bullets will go hit in waves.

5
And instead of spoiling
And of luxury astray,
Fight will reign from now, on earth,
And the quake will be gun play.

6
That the ones of bustling habits,
Walking naked with no shame,
Will be forced to walk uncovered,
As we’re poor, they will exclaim!

7
When the malice keeps on growing,
God is sickened, one can say.
That is why the world is cracking
And the wars don’t go away.

The lucifers of science
Poem written by Saint John Jacob the Hozebite

The learners who today are striving hard,
On and on, a work in vain,
To fully do the prove of random card,
That there is no God to Reign.

With the progress of the science,
Like a Lucifer swollen with pride,
They go higher, in defiance,
Higher than the Heavens, sliding glide.

Just two doors stand up in front,
Faithless stays astonished dumb,
As in front of a new gate
An ox stays beating the drum.

One of them – entrance of life,
That is closed for them right now,
The other, of falling – rife,
Which is widely open – bow.

As much as a head can do,
They will rush to do invention,
For to make and produce ‘life’
And to stop the death, they mention.

Unbeliever, in your schemes,
Life you try to fabricate…
Win the clash with death? – just dreams,
No success at this high gate.

Everything of the inventions,
When your near grave will seize,
Has no value: husk – dimensions,
Which gets spreading in the breeze.

If you do not know in life
Your Redeemer, personally,
You will find after your death,
Evil one’s, that’s tyranny.